Men Being Men: Don’t Neglect Your Calling

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Men being Men: Don’t neglect your calling

Eph. 5:22–31

opener:

• Term we are using in culture these days— “Oh that’s just men being men.”

• making excuse for a man every time he runs around on his wife. or

• Does not take responsibility and sits on his parents’ couch until he is 30

• Makes a degrading remark about a woman or another man.

• And society bought into it. low expectation of men.

• Shouldn’t men being men have a good connotation? We were made to be more—are more. God calls you more. We need to step into what God has for us with His help.

• Be more because the stakes have never been higher.

• There is no greater issue of our day than men needing to be men.

• From un-hirable men and those who live life through fantasy.

• To crime, to adolescent pregnancy, to abuse

• To men being friends vs. fathers if they are around physically or mentally at all.

• Our society needs men to be men

• Deep down we need to be men. Not be happy until we do—

Story: Dogs being dogs; Saw one of those dogs the other day. You know the one that people take from being their pet to being their child. Dress it up like a little doll. Usually carry it in their purse. Little wimpy dog. But have you ever seen one of those dogs get loose outside? They head for mud or something worse. Usually eat the something worse or roll around in the mud. And their “mother” is yelling, “No, FuFu! NO!” And the dog is like, "Forget you—this stuff is great. I may have thought all that manicuring and pampering was nice—but this is what I was made for... I'm a dog." It's like an ingrained switch went off... I desire the mud—the mud is good... I'm a dog—the dog has never been so happy.

• Truth: You will be most happy fulfilling what God created you to be.

Biblical Manhood Defined: At the heart of what it truly means to be a man is a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for, and protect in ways appropriate to his differing relationships.

• What does this mean/not mean? 3-fold—and we see it all in this passage: Ephesians 5:22–31

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

Pray

A lot here. We will start with men as the head.—

Men are to be:

1. Leaders.

   At the heart of what it truly means to be a man is a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead...

   23 For the husband is the head

   • Let me start by saying what this does not mean:

   • Know everything/make every decision

   • Women are really smart in many different ways. My wife has a sensitivity and awareness of our children and situations I don’t. It’s no weakness to lean on your wife’s wisdom.

   • Being the spiritual leader as a man means you set THE VALUES of the household. The spiritual tone. You will be the one held accountable for it. It does not mean that you have to make every decision or know everything.

   • Dictator or cowering

   • When it comes to their families and children, men tend to fall into two extremes. Some men avoid or abdicate their responsibilities to care for those around them. They passively allow others to assume leadership or they withdraw altogether. On the other hand, dictator insecurity (my way or highway—insecure)

   • Unequal

   • Genesis 1:26–28—We are made in the image of God

   • Defined—We are like (dému (“likeness”)) God and represent Him more than anything else created.

   • We share equally in that privilege. (Gen. 1:27 in the image of God “He created them.”)

   • We (both) were created this way to display the glory of God.

Men are to be Fathers—What if I don’t know how?

1. Jerry West—the logo. 1969 NBA trying to form identity amongst competitors. Man named Glen Siegel saw pic. of JW: dynamic, essence game all about. One man’s silhouette to represent the league. One picture encompasses history, love, passion, way game is to be played. See it, you see basketball. Image of one man pointing to something bigger/beyond Him.

2. Jerry West—the logo. One man’s silhouette to represent the league.

3. God holds the trademark/logo on creation—manhood. Adam/we is never meant to give us clearest best picture God is/man should be—JESUS IS

4. Col. 1:15 The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.

5. Understanding this changes way we read—

   Eph. 5 completion of Genesis 1–2

23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

Men are to lead as God does. Jesus was the—

HEAD AND SAVIOR (head meant savior)

• leadership through service; patiently and gently leads and pursues for interest/best of those He loves (church and Father) before own flesh. (Mark 8:31; Hebrews 5:7–10)

• people did and still want to follow Him because of it.

• submit (hupotasso)—voluntary yielding in love

• if people not follow—don’t trust you—seen and observed leadership absent or self-focused: ”I don’t know where you are taking us,” “I don’t know if I can trust you”

Benevolent—real Love. Jesus/God Father—has a benevolent action toward man (love and want to give to them for best):

Love—Says I am willing to sell out for the good—for God’s will, best not for me but Him and our family first.

1. follow because of it—let you wash her

WASH:

“wash” his wife (v. 26). This sounds like something erotic, but it is far from it. In the first century, baths weren’t pleasurable—they were painful. They didn’t have antibacterial soap or ointment, so “giving someone a bath” often meant washing out the infection from their wounds. A woman would have had to trust the man to attend to the most sensitive parts of her body. And for that to happen, a man would have to be worthy of trust.

• We will have to communicate challenging words from God at times as the spiritual leader of the home. But that will only be effective if husbands and fathers have already set aside their own interests and made it clear that they care more about their children than they do themselves.

2. Providers

   At the heart of what it truly means to be a man is a sense of benevolent responsibility to provide for

   28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—30 for we are members of his body.

   • This means a natural (feeding desire internally not be satisfied unless) nourishing your family—as if you are feeding and caring for your own body

3. Provide for—does not mean that women should not assist in or help support the family; The natural burden is not on her.

4. When there is no bread on the table, it is the man who should feel the main pressure to do something to get it there. A man will feel his personhood compromised if he, through sloth or folly or lack of discipline, becomes dependent over the long haul.

   • v. 29—care—nourishing (lit. to keep warm) and cherishing (comfort lit)

   • within you is a desire that you will not be at peace unless you are keeping your family warm and fed

   • This encompasses finances, emotions, and all things otherwise.

   • Jesus’ life—(numerous examples Jesus’ life: not turn kids away; tired kept healing; compassion crowds fed 4 and 5 thousand—on and on)

   • hard time with it, He can help you, desire and action He has for us (his church); He placed desire there and He can redeem it

   • Finally as men step into what God has for us, it is a Christ-empowered redemption to lead, provide and to—Protect

5. Protectors

   At the heart of what it truly means to be a man is a sense of benevolent responsibility to protect in ways appropriate to a man’s differing relationships.

   31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

   • Again there is this natural (feeding desire internally not be satisfied unless do) of taking care of your family as own body that has another part to it—as would own body—harm's way like in street car coming—get our way

6. Protection—senses a natural, God-given responsibility to step forward and put himself. He is willing to suffer for her safety. family out street even means He gets hit.

7. She may be more courageous, not usually but sometimes even stronger—point sense placed his heart. wife have sense desire burden taken off them

8. Men, nourishing your wife/family means setting an environment where she feels safe, secure, and at ease so that she can flourish.

9. If so—Your wife talks to you about her dreams, fears, and concerns more than she talks with her mother or her friends. Your wife encourages you, rather than tearing you down. Your wife is hopeful about the future and looks forward to life together. Your wife has a sense of flourishing; her world is stable and good. Your wife’s heart is soft, tender, and open to you. She is constantly learning, growing, and changing. Children too...

All this means—Men should fight to pursue their wife and family.

1. Example: Four-time All-Pro NFL linebacker Chris Spielman had played football for twenty-six of his thirty-three years. He is the type of guy who relishes the game, even going to rather absurd lengths to get ready for a contest. On one occasion, he slept in little clothing with the air-conditioning blasting so he could be fully prepared for the brutally cold winter chill that envelops Buffalo’s Rich Stadium. He met his wife, Stefanie, in 1983 when he was just seventeen years old. They were married six years later. Stefanie is beautiful—she worked as a model before she became a full-time mother—and the two embarked on a rich marriage. Spielman played for many years with the Detroit Lions and then signed with the Buffalo Bills in 1996. The year 1997 came with a fistful of trials. In July, just as preseason camp was getting started, a doctor spoke the grave diagnosis: breast cancer. Stefanie, the beautiful model, opted for a mastectomy, to be followed by six weeks of chemotherapy, a time period during which she would lose all her hair. The Spielmans had two small children under the age of five, and Chris knew the chemo treatments would drain his wife’s energy.—Chris shaved his head. Even more important, he quit football—not forever, but for a year—until Stefanie was back on her feet. The average career span of an NFL linebacker is less than three years.

2. Chris told GQ magazine, “For ten years our entire lives had been about me. My career came first, always. Stefanie made every sacrifice in the world to support me unconditionally... What kind of husband would I be if I didn’t drop everything for Stefanie when she got sick? Did I want her sister to have to hold her hand while she suffered, because I wasn’t there? Did I want Stefanie’s mother to have to sit with her in the hospital while they were shooting needles into her and filling her up with those awful chemicals, or did I want to be there myself?... This is my family. This is my responsibility. This is my home. This is my duty.”

Close—

1. Only do with Jesus—Fought for you Cross; Pursues you now

   The fact is that if you try to do everything this sermon suggests, you’re only going to get frustrated and tired.

   • If try accomplish on own become tired or hardened.

   • If things were as simple as willpower, you would be keeping all your New Year’s resolutions. Change is hard. Once ruts of sinful behavior are formed, they are difficult to escape—return comfort. need more than willpower, need grace—

   NEED FOR GRACE—emphasis on human effort wind up, at some point in their lives, tired and weary of following

   • Relying not on your power or willpower but the finished work of Jesus. True Father/Man help you be true Father/man

   We are also given real power to change our. We don’t have to be trapped in the same patterns of rejecting our responsibility, of laziness and sloth, of anger, fear, and frustration. The life Jesus gives us is new life. It’s freedom, joy, peace, love, courage, and whatever we need to be like him.

Will you allow it?